That Something Big....

is finally becoming apparent to me.  A couple of months back I started really researching churches in our area.  As I am really quite embarrassed to admit we hadn't been to church in over a year & really in the couple of years before that only once or twice.  I just wasn't getting anything from church & I was dragging the boys kicking & screaming to sit in a cry room during a mass that I could barely pay attention to because I was dealing with the kids.  Some people hassled me to find a church we liked, while others told me not to worry about it.  They tried to explain that as the kids got older it would be easier to go to church.  The truth is that at first I would use the kids as an excuse, but in reality I just wasn't getting anything out of church.  I was annoyed in a big way.  I could feel something in our lives missing & I couldn't find what I was looking for.  So back to a couple of months ago.  I had been doing a lot of reading & I was listening to a great podcast from a pastor in TX so in a lot of ways I was getting church.  I started to realize that my family on the other hand was not getting what I was getting & it was something that we all needed.  So I started reading websites for all the local churches.  I wasn't going to limit myself to Catholic Churches & I was really going to let God lead me to where he wanted me to be.  I prayed & prayed about it and finally I felt guided to start really looking into churches.  I didn't know what I was doing, I had never done this before.  I figured that if a website turned me off  then most likely I wasn't going to like the church.  If I like the website, I gave the number a call.  I figured if I was totally turned off by the person on the other end of the line then I was most likely not going to like the church.  I did this for a couple of days & finally I found a church.  Starting Pointe Church is a small non denominational church that is held right by our house.  I liked the website, I liked it a whole lot.  I felt pulled to the website, like I had to keep going back and reading the same thing over & over again.  I finally called the pastor, Pastor Jeff.  I don't know what it was, but I felt like I had found a home.  I felt peace talking to him.  I felt God talking to me in my heart.  I knew this was the place that God had been leading me to, but now I had to break the news to Eric.  I wasn't sure how it was going to go over with him.  He's always been pretty darn serious about the fact that we are Catholic & that we are staying Catholic.  I prayed that God would just open his heart & mind to this new experience because I really felt in my heart that this is where God was leading me.  I finally felt ready to tell Eric....& to my surprise he was really, really open to this idea that I had.  He was willing to give it a one time try.  We decided to try this new church on Easter Sunday.  I figured that if I didn't like you on Easter, I wasn't going to like you the rest of the year.  So we told the boys about this new church & I really talked it up to this awesome wonderful place.  Lucky for me, Mrs. Tracy makes it such a place.  And even luckier for me, Easter Sunday was awesome & Eric walked out of there offering to give it 4 more weeks.  What the heck he said, it's a five week sermon series, RIGHT???  My prayers were being answered right before my eyes.  From the moment we had walked in I knew we were finally home.  Maybe it was the lady at the door, who forgive me I can't recall her name, who was so very friendly & welcoming.  Maybe it was Mrs. Tracy who leads the kids church who was so warm & welcoming.  The way she took my children & eased my greatest fears when I mentioned that Logan had ADHD & Aspergers.  She didn't flinch, she didn't seem disturbed...no instead she said don't worry about it, he'll be fine with the most reassuring smile I have ever seen.  Maybe it was Pastor Jeff and the way he shook our hands & welcomed us to his church.  Maybe it was the way Pastor Jeff preached & just how real he really was.  Maybe it was the way that I finally felt like someone wanted to talk to me & not down at me.  I don't know why within minutes of being there I felt like I had finally found a home for our family, but I did & that's what is the most important thing.  I am not going to lie, it was a huge change for us.  I loved it, Eric looked a little disturbed.  I prayed & prayed through that entire service that God would just continue to open his heart & mind to this new experience.  By the time we had left, I knew that we had to come back, I couldn't wait to come back.  We collected our kids & they begged to come back...the very next day.  We explained that we couldn't & only a promise to come back next week settled them down.  It was all coming together.  The next week was just as great, even better.  They remembered our kids, they remembered our names.  They were happy to see us again.  We felt welcomed, like we belonged.  On my birthday, Pastor Jeff remembered it was my birthday & when he wished me a Happy Birthday I knew why I loved this place so much.  So here we are five weeks later & Eric loves it just as much as me.  Okay well maybe he's not as in love with it as I am, but he'll get there.  I can tell that he's getting something out of it & for a man of such little words sometimes he says some pretty interesting things about church & Pastor Jeff.  The kids hearts are on fire for the Lord & they can't get enough.  They are always looking to learn more.  Kolby loves listening to The Message with me on XM & he is always singing the songs that he has learned.  We are going to dedicate Emily to the Lord at the end of July.  I just feel like everything is right, like things are falling into place for us as far as church life is concerned.  I've always considered myself a Christian, but I was always a little jealous of those that were so consumed by their faith.  I am starting to understand what it means to live like Jesus.  I am starting to understand how one's heart can be on fire for the Lord.  My heart is open to the Lord & to what he telling me.  I am listening to him & he is guiding me.  I am following him blindly.  Don't get me wrong, I am so far from perfect & I slip all the time, but I am trying with all my heart to be as the Lord would have me be.  I don't know why he has placed me here at Starting Pointe, but I know that eventually he will show me the rest of his plan.  I do believe that this is just the start & he has so much more in store for me.  I know that if this is just a piece of his plan then the rest must be so much more than I could ever imagine.  He has great things in store for us & just knowing that he loves me & will lead me where he wants me to be is enough to keep me going until he is ready to reveal the rest to me.  I am blessed that we found Starting Pointe & that we now have a home to grow our children & ourselves in the way of the Lord.  We are truly blessed.