Monday's

I've been laying in bed for the past half hour pretending to sleep.  Emily left to go "see what the brothers are doing" and she never leaves quietly.  No she leaves with those soft little hands first rubbing my arm & then the side of my face.  She gets up close and whispers "momma, momma" I open my eyes a bit & then she kisses me, first on the cheek, then on my lips.  Now we do nosy, nosy & some sort of  half awake/half asleep butterfly kisses.  Finally she whispers "I love you momma, now I go see what the brothers are doing." I say okay and close my eyes.  I can't help but wonder if she thinks whispering keeps me from being completely awake or what, but somehow it just seems sweet at the moment that she so tries to be nice during our morning routine.  So as I lay there, door closing, eyes still shut, hearing the noise on the monitor that sits beside my bed I think...Monday, really?  You couldn't wait to come for a few more hours?  I think how I would like to sleep just once till the alarm went off, but then I remember I am a mom & I don't have that luxury just yet. The last 30 minutes before the alarm goes off is spent with the day's events starting to play out in my head.  How they will go & when I will do what.  It's a busy Monday, but then again aren't they all.  Only 2 days of school left & I vow on Wednesday I will sleep till the alarm goes off.  I start to let the day get me down before it begins & then I hear Kolby's voice & I suddenly remember the funniest thing I had read last week " I am thankful that double ee always says E"  and suddenly a smile comes to my face, because really how could a mommy not smile at that.  I start to think of a kind teacher who helped cultivate the gift of joy this school year by helping my little guy keep a Grateful Journal (although I have always suspected she didn't know the true joy of giving Thanks).  I think of how much joy I found in reading his journal & all that he gave thanks for.  I think of how he told me it was a grateful journal, but he went ahead and wrote thankful because he was giving God thanks...just don't tell his teacher that.  Yes, that brought a smile to me face for sure.  It's in those moments that I realize that if I don't do another thing right in this life, I know I've at least brought 3 precious children to love & know the Lord.  I start to think that yes, it's Monday...AGAIN & yes my day will be crazy busy at best, but surely somewhat chaotic if it happens like it normally does.  But it's okay because I have much to be thankful for.  So I grab my pink little notebook that has gold circles on it (they remind me of my beloved sister, Felicia, who loves gold although I dislike it greatly) and I write the date & begin today's list of giving thanks.

46. The smell of my love on his pillow
47. My sweet baby's voice first thing in the morning
48. Soft baby hands on my face
49. Kisses from my baby girl
50. Nosy, nosy
51. Butterfly kisses while I'm still half asleep
52. The morning sun coming through the window all to early on Monday morning
53. The sound of my children playing together
54. A big brother taking care of his siblings
55. Alarm clocks that never go off
56. My baby boy's Grateful Journal
57. And the teacher who helped him keep it all year long
58. That double ee always says E ( I mean why not, it makes life easier right?)
59. For the sound of my coffee pot making me coffee & the smell that tells me it's almost done
60. For the chaos that my life is
61. And the faith in God that lets me know it's all okay
62. For 3 beautiful children that all love the Lord
63. For Good Day Girls & the wonderful insight those ladies bring to my life
64. Anything by Jennie Allen
65. My quiet time with the Lord, to ponder & think & learn & just be still

My list will go on today & tomorrow there will be more.  I've found that making my list just helps me stay calm in the stress that life is.  It helps me realize that God made me promises and that all things can be made good in HIM, who loves me.  At the start of my list, I first listed Ann Voskamp & her website A Holy Experience (the link can be found below) because if not for her I wouldn't be making list & my life just wouldn't be the same.  So thank you Ann & thank you for bringing me closer to HIM.



Today I am linking up with Ann Voskamp at a holy experience.  Please check out her blog & the blogs of other ladies that linked up with her today.  You will surely be blessed by what you read.  Thank you for reading & have a Blessed Monday!

A Day For Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is not till tomorrow, but I know that my day will come & go so quickly that before I get to post my Thanksgiving blog I will be standing in line at Walmart to start my Black Friday shopping.  It was important to me to post this blog.  In the last several years I have found that living a life of thanks has been very difficult for me.  I have seldom thanked God for all that he gives me, even when I fail to ask for what I really need.  I have failed to acknowledge him in the times that he most deserved my praise & thanks.  It makes me sad to think of all the times of thanks I have missed out on because I was always so focused on all that I didn't have or all that was going wrong.  In the last six months or so I have made it my daily mission to live a life of thanks.  To see all that God graces me with daily.  To see all the love that he shows me.  To see the good & acknowledge that even in moments when things are not going the way I want that God does have a plan for me.  It's in those moments that I have to be the most thankful & give the most praise.  My Lord knows me & I know him.  He has plans for me & for my family so far greater than we could ever imagine.  For this I must be the most thankful.  So while I do keep a thankful journal today I want to share some of the stuff that I am most thankful for.

I am thankful for Logan's face.  It is a daily reminder that God does not give us more than we can handle.  His face is my reminder that when I feel I can not accomplish something that it is through God and his strength that I will rise even higher than I could have imagined.  It is through him that I accomplish my greatest moments and for this I am thankful.

I am thankful for Kolby's face.   It is a daily reminder that God still performs miracles & answers our prayers.  His face is my reminder that God is our healer & that nothing is too big for him.  I am reminded that if it is God's plan then it will be accomplished.  I thankful for this knowledge.

I am thankful for Emily's face.  It is a daily reminder that God's plans are often so far better than the plans we set for ourselves.  Her face reminds me that sometimes I have to just say "Yes, Lord...I will follow you & have faith in the path you have set"  It is a reminder that God knows our hearts & he gives us the things that we need even when we fail to ask for them. 

I am thankful for my loving husband Eric.  He is a reminder of God's love for me.  He loves me in such a Graceful way.  He loves me unconditionally.  Even in my worst moments he finds a way to love & to love me fully.  He is my best friend, an amazing father to my children, someone who always believes in me.  When I am wrong he finds the best way to show me another path.  Without him I would be lost & not the person that I am.  As the song goes...God gave me you(Eric) for the ups & downs, God gave me you(Eric) for the days of doubt.  For when I think I've lost my way, There are no words here left to say, It's true...God gave me you(Eric).  I am forever thankful for the love that we share.

I am thankful for my parents.  Another reminder of God's love.  They have loved me and supported me my whole life.  They have lifted me up when I needed it.  They have done the unpopular thing, even at risk of me hating them, because they loved me & knew it was all for the best.  They have taken me places to see things so that I could appreciate God's beauty all the more.  They have taught me life lessons that without them I wouldn't be me.  It is because of my parents that I am the wife, mother, sister, friend, daughter that I am today.  I am thankful for them giving me a sense of who I am & who I wanted to become.

I am thankful for my sister & brother in law.  They are a pure example of God's love for others.  They have been there for us through all of it. Through good times & through bad times.  They have loved my children as if they were there own.  I am grateful to know that if something should ever happen to Eric & I my children would have a loving home.  A home where they would grow in love & know God's love.  For this I am always thankful.

I am thankful for my in laws, the second set of parents God picked for me.  Together we have learned how to become a family & how to love each other.  They have always been here for us, encouraged us, and supported us.  Without them we would not be where we are today.

I am thankful for barking dogs, raindrops on leaves, the colors of the sunset, medical technology, Mrs. Hernandez & Mrs. Gibson.  I am thankful for the pitter patter of little feet & for little hands that hold my face.  I am thankful for thunderstorms, the crashing waves, fish that jump.  I am thankful for all the years I spent with loved ones that are no longer here.  I am thankful for cars that start each morning & for the funds to buy a new car when they didn't start.  I am thankful for the naughty laughter coming from behind the bedroom door, I am thankful for the cries that come two seconds later.  I am thankful for Sunday morning worship at the most amazing Starting Pointe Church.  I am thankful for the new friends that we  have made, I am thankful for the old friends that we are lucky to keep in contact with, & I am so thankful the memories made with friends that we have lost contact with.  I am thankful for my faith & how it sustains me in my moments of need.  I am thankful for The Message & the amazing music it has brought into my heart.  For the plans that God has for me & my ability to trust in them.  For Mrs. Tracy who teaches my little ones week after week about the Lord & his love for them. For the way that she has set their hearts on fire.  For Pastor Jeff who teaches Eric & I week after week & opens our eyes to the Lord & his love for us.  I am thankful for all the churches we tried that just didn't do it for us.  Thankful for my creative side, my writing ability & the fact that I can touch others with this gifts God has given me.  For the bad times that have made me stronger, for the good times that have brought me laughter, for the times that I just thought I would never recover and yet I am here writing this blog. 

My list could go on and on...but, I am most thankful for my Lord & Savior who died so that I may live.  For a Lord who wraps his arms around me & shelters me with his love.  Without him I would be nothing, have nothing.  All things come through him.  He is the Lord who give & takes....and through it all I am called to be thankful.  So I will thankful anyways, so that I may be thankful always. 

Happy Thanksgiving my dear friends.  Here is my Thanksgiving prayer for each one of you.  May you have a wonderful & beautiful Thanksgiving.  May you share your day with friends & family & be surrounded by their love & the love of our Lord.  May you give thanks for all that you have, for all that you do not have, & for all that is yet to come to you!