Not a good day...

no today has been rough.  It has been trying & left me wondering a whole lot of things.  I have spoken words in anger & not let Christ love shine through my heart.  I am regretful for the things I have said & I know a heart full of regret is not a good place for Christ to dwell.  I have fallen & now I need to pick myself up.  I know that I am disappointed, but I know others are even more so.   I know that Christ calls me to love those that love me & to love those that hate me even more.  I know that I am to love my neighbor as I love myself & today I have not done that.  I need to pray tonight even more so than most nights.  I need to pray for God to guide me & show me how to deal with the situation at hand.  I need to ask him to guide those that I love & to lead them to the places that they need to be.  Tonight I need Christ to cover those I love with his peace & protection.  I need him to show compassion like only he can.  I need him to help those that need him so that they may see the truth & they may begin to forgive themselves.  It will be a long, hard journey...but I know & believe with all my heart that through Christ all things are possible.  I know & believe that even when we don't love ourselves, Christ loves us & wants us to come to him so that he might be able to help us.  I know that even in times when we turn on Christ he does not turn on us.  I know that for some that I love they need to know these things to.  They need to know that although they do not deserve his forgiveness Christ will forgive them if they come to his table & ask.  I need them to start to see that Christ is there even when we haven't asked him to be, even when we think that he has left us all alone.  I know this feeling of worthlessness.  I know how it feels when you think you can't do anything right & that no one can possibly love you.  I have been shown that in reality we are never, ever alone & that Christ never stops loving us.  I need the ones I love to see Christ & feel Christ presence as I have in recent years.  I need them to learn to listen & follow with an open heart & eyes closed. 

I know Christ is protecting you right now & that he is watching out for you.  I hope that you go to him & let him begin to heal you.  I love you & I know that you are strong & you can do this.  All my love always