Hmmm....

Well I was writing something that I have been thinking about for awhile, but when I started it just didn't come out like I wanted it to.  I wasn't able to get across what I wanted to say in a meaningful way.  I wanted people to think about what I was saying & possibly make a change in their own lives.  Today just wasn't that day.  Oh well, it is saved in the draft section & maybe in a couple of days I will be more inspired to return to it.  I do know that I won't post it until it is just right, even if I change it a little at a time.  I wonder if that is what God is doing with me, changing me a little at a time?  He changes me so slowly without me even noticing & then when I finally do notice it is like WoW...I am someone new.  He puts people in my path, both positive & not so positive, & then I have to see the difference between them.  Some of those people wouldn't even realize that I am growing just by knowing them.  That they have made me look at myself & made me want to be a better person.  Sometimes it is because I see the person I want to be in them.  Sometimes it is because I feel like I am looking into a mirror & I don't like what I see.  I know that in the coming months I have some really hard choices to make because I have grown & changed.  I know that I will hurt some people, but I have to do what I know is best.  I know that I can't love the Lord the way that I am meant to if I surround myself with negative forces.  I have to love him completely & as he deserves to be loved.  I feel like I really need to surround myself with positive, pure forces so that I can be open to the Lord's love in my life.  Hatred, anger, gossip, jealousy...these are not the work of the Lord, they are Satan's work & him pulling me towards him.  If someone is bringing these things into my life then I need to be strong enough to walk away from that relationship.  I want to be a better person, but not just better.  I want to be the best me that I can be because if I am not being the best me possible, then I am not being the me that God created.  Here's to change & growth one day at a time.